Effective Leadership is Effective Listening

Did you know that 40 to 60 per cent of your workday is spent listening? Do you know that less than 2% of us are trained on how to do it effectively? And did you know that 75% of what is spoken is forgotten?
If you really want to get the most out of your client relationships as well as those of your staff and co-workers, try speaking less and listening more.

Listening is one of those skills that we tend not to develop. Rather when we are with someone, we are often thinking about what we’re going to say next or what is going to happen at our next appointment. If we’re not thinking about something else, we’re over-talking or jumping in and offering our opinions before someone else has finished talking. If that’s going on, I can guaranteed you that you are missing something important that your client or co-worker is telling you. Often it’s not obvious- it’s under the words or in the non- verbal clues. Catching these things can make the difference between solid relationship and one that is hit or miss. When you don’t listen, there is lack of clarity and people don’t feel respected or motivated to meet you half way.

It use to be that leaders created the vision and expected people to follow along. In fact there are many of today's leaders that still hold to that practice. However, leadership is changing. Today good leadership by any definition is more inclusive and that involves effective listening. An effective listener builds trust so that ideas can be heard, vision can be established and agendas can be understood. Effective listening is one of the most important tools you will have in building your business relationships. So, next time you are with someone or your team try the following:

Stop talking: Button your lips and give someone else the floor

Get rid of distractions: If you find your mind wandering, pull it back and give your attention to the person talking

Keep an open mind: The minute you let assumptions or judgments enter your head, you have stopped listening and you will miss a possible critical piece of information

Show Interest: Turn off your cell phone, your Blackberry and actually make eye contact.

Pay Attention to non-verbal clues: A person’s facial expressions, tone of voice and body language are clues that tell more than the words.

Don’t interrupt unless the building is on fire

Acknowledge what’s being said without comment or criticism. Try open ended questions like: How does that work or what did you do then?

Use paraphrasing to make sure you understand the key points being communicated

Give and receive feedback: See it as positive and encourage others to speak up and share their ideas

Take notes: Write down what you heard with as much detail as you can. The more you remember the better you listened.

These are simple things that we all know but don't do. Try them in at least one converstation today and see what you find out. See if what you find out makes a difference in how you move forward. See if how you move forward gives you better results.